Chapter 18 ~ Alone With The Sleeping

When Russ woke up he was in bed.  He stared at the ceiling for a moment.  The light in the room was bright and orange . . . it must be evening.  Late afternoon sun shone through the balcony windows.  He was on his back, and started to roll over onto his left side, but pain shot through his body as soon as he stirred.  At first he didn’t know why, but then he remembered.  He lay very still for a little while, feeling each wound throb.  He wondered if he was disfigured.  Maybe if he looked the mirror he’d see that his face was lopsided or his shoulder was shriveled.  His left shoulder felt shriveled.  One of the dogs had gotten him really good there.

He thought he should be bandaged up, but didn’t feel anything on him.  He looked down over the blankets covering his body, then cautiously moved his arms and looked at them.  His arms hurt; he could remember every puncture from the dogs’ teeth, but when he looked them over he didn’t see anything.  He touched his neck gingerly, but didn’t feel any scars, stitches, or open wounds.  But there have to be . . . .  He felt like he was hanging open.

Russ opened his mouth and tested moving his jaw in a circle.  He pushed the blankets down and inspected his chest and shoulders, lifting a white nightshift away from the skin, still expecting to see gaping wounds.  Nothing.  He looked the same.  But I can’t be imagining it.  It still hurts.  And he knew for a fact that he hadn’t put that nightgown on himself.  Someone had put him in bed.  The last time he’d been standing by himself was on the pavilion steps outside.

The room was eerily quiet, he thought.  If he had been injured shouldn’t there be someone there?  Where was the blood?  Where were the doctors?  Where was Liseli?  Where were his wounds?  He saw a jug sitting on the table next to the bed, but otherwise the room looked the same as before.  Russ slowly moved his legs to the side, pushing the blankets away as he slid out of bed.  His legs felt fine.  They hadn’t gotten his legs.

He walked up to the mirror over the bureau and looked in.  There was nothing different about his appearance . . . .  Well, maybe he was whiter.  But he could just be imagining that.  He hurt the most along the left side of his chest and shoulder up to the neck.  He pulled the shirt away and touched his neck again, watching in the mirror.  Experimentally he pressed down against his skin.  It didn’t hurt any worse, or any less.

The wounds were there, though.  Under the surface, things weren’t okay.  It was as if his skin had healed perfectly over torn muscles.  Internal bleeding?  Is that what this is?

The door opened.  Russ looked up hopefully, thinking, Liseli.  But it was Halla.  She stopped when she saw him, and he automatically looked down at his legs self-consciously.  The nightgown . . . thing . . . only came down to about mid thigh.

“You’re awake,” Halla said, smiling.

“Yeah,” Russ sat back down on the bed.

“How do you feel?”

“Um . . . .”  He folded his hands in his lap, then reached up to scratch his head.  “Like I’ve been mauled by wolves, I guess.”  He tried to laugh, and watched her reaction.  He wanted to know if it had really happened.  Maybe he was just going crazy.

“Not wolves.  Dogs.  Leeton’s dogs,” Halla corrected, looking out over the balcony.  They were both silent for a moment.  Then Halla broke from her reverie and walked over to the jug.  “Now that you’re awake you can drink this for yourself,” she said, pouring water from it into a cup.  She extended it to him.

He took it, and she folded her hands in front of her.

“What is it?”

“Chaiorra water.  Medicine, to you.”  She nodded.

He was about to drink, but then stopped and lowered the cup.  “Why aren’t I hurt anymore?” he asked.

She unfolded one hand and motioned to the jug.  “I don’t know how many of those you’ve gone through.  Quite a few.  At first we used sponges, but then when your wounds began to close up enough we filled the tub up with it and let you soak for a while.”  She wasn’t looking at him as she talked.  “You would have died, otherwise, of course.  You lost a great deal of blood.  You don’t have very much blood in you right now, Russell Markson.  You have water in your veins.”

Russ stared at her profile with his mouth open, still holding the cup in his hand.  So that was it.  He looked down at it, dubiously.  “Keep drinking,” she said, returning her gaze to him.

Russ smiled, despite the pain.  He drank from the cup, and felt a little better.  It was like medicine.  Good tasting medicine, though he couldn’t say what it tasted like.  He could almost imagine it washing through him and stitching him up as it went.

“Where’s Liseli?”

Halla’s lips twisted to the side.  The grimace lasted for only a split second, but Russ didn’t miss it.  “What?”  He sat up straighter.  “Is she hurt?”  He thought he remembered her moving around, talking, yelling . . . but he couldn’t be sure.  He’d probably been delirious.  “Halla?  Is she?”

“No.”  Halla smiled.  “She’s sleeping.”

“Was she hurt?”

Halla shook her head.

“Then why is she sleeping?” Russ gripped the cup.  Something wasn’t right.  His neck began to throb again.

“Don’t become excited,” Halla admonished, still shaking her head.  “Drink more water.”

“What’s the matter with her?” Russ stood up, not caring at that moment how short his shift was.

“Russell Markson—” she kept using his full name “—please.  She is not injured, she is simply sleeping in her room.  Resting.  She’s had a trying day.”

Russ paused, wondering if he could trust Halla.  No.  Trust; that had got him chewed up and spat out by dogs.  “I’m going to go see her,” he decided.

“Don’t disturb her, she’s sleeping,” Halla said, but didn’t move.  She seemed aware of the futility of trying to stop him.

“I want to put my pants on.”

“I think you should go back to sleep, as well,” Halla said, but moved toward the door.  “You shouldn’t be walking around and working yourself up.”

“Thanks.”

She shrugged and left.  Russ found the Alisiyan pants, the ones with no pockets, and slipped them on.  He’d have thought that after being watered all afternoon he would need to take a piss, but he didn’t.  He’d retained all the water and felt like he could drink more.  There was something wrong with that.  But he left the room, not wanting to waste any time.  He had to make sure Liseli really was in her room.

Halla was waiting for him when he went out into the hall.  He followed her to Liseli’s room, even though he already knew where it was.  She opened the door and they went in.

Liseli was in her bed.  Her hair was spread out over her pillow and down over her shoulders, and her arms rested over the blankets at her sides.  She slept peacefully.  Nothing seemed wrong.

“She’s very tired,” Halla said.  Russ walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to decide whether or not he was going to wake her up.  It might just be selfish to disturb her . . . but . . . .  He glanced up at Halla and cleared his throat.

She looked at the floor.  She misunderstood his prompt, and began to speak.  “She ran away after. . . .  None of us understood where she was going, but then Eliasha finally calmed enough to tell us about the crack in the wall, and the river.  She ran after Liseli even though Arlic forbade it.  They tried to grab her, but . . . ” Halla shrugged, and allowed a smile to play over her face.  “I don’t know what happened, but Eliasha found her floating in the river.  She had almost drowned.  No, she had drowned.  But Eliasha saved her.  She pulled her out and got the water out of her lungs.”

Russ looked at Liseli.  She was breathing deeply and evenly.  He reached out and touched her arm, but she didn’t stir.  He remembered how Eliasha had stopped him when he tried to run to Liseli, before the dogs attacked.  She would have left Liseli standing there alone.  But then she saved her?  He didn’t know what to make of it.

Halla was still speaking:  “Liseli had taken a jug down to the river, and she was still holding it.  Eliasha almost could not pry it out of her hands, even though she was unconscious.  She had to leave her by the riverbank in order to bring back the jug, but if she hadn’t you would be dead . . . you were almost gone by that time as it was.  After that we took a wagon down to the river and returned with Liseli, and filled up more jugs for you.”

Halla waited for a response.  Russ smiled faintly, moving his hand up Liseli’s arm.  But she still didn’t wake up.  He looked at Halla.  “Has she been up since then?”

Halla looked sideways at the floor.  “No.  We haven’t been able to rouse her.  At all.”

His stomach dropped.  “Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

“I didn’t want to excite you.  You still need your rest,” said Halla.  He thought it was a lame excuse.

Russ shook his head, and leaned over Liseli.  He tried to wake her.  He said her name, and shook her gently, and even though Halla was there he kissed her, first on her forehead and then on the lips.  But she didn’t wake up.  She didn’t even show any signs of a response.  He had to double check to make sure she was breathing like he’d thought.  She was.  She just wouldn’t wake up.

He looked back up at Halla.  “How many hours has it been?”

“Almost seven, now.”

He didn’t want to panic.  Liseli had almost drowned.  For you . . . .  She deserved her rest.  But she should still respond when he tried to wake her.  Something was wrong.  He wondered if it was usual for people who survived drowning to sleep too deeply.  He’d never heard anything of that sort.

“Give her more time,” said Halla gently.  “Have some dinner . . . and go back to sleep, and perhaps she’ll have woken up in the morn—”

“No.”  He straightened and looked at her.  This just wasn’t the time to go with the flow.  Liseli was in a co . . . no, he couldn’t think it.  She was sleeping deeply.  That was all.

“There’s nothing more you can do.”  Halla spread out her hands.  “We’ve made her comfortable.  That’s all we can do.”

Russ looked down at his feet, then rested his elbows on his knees and ran his hands through his hair.  It was hard to think in pain.  It was hard to worry.  He didn’t know what to do.

“Come,” said Halla.  “Leave her be . . . and you should eat something.”

He lifted his head.  He watched Liseli for a moment while Halla waited for him.  “She doesn’t like this room.”

“What?”

“She doesn’t.”  He shook his head.  “She can’t sleep well in here.  She told me.”

“Well . . . .”  Halla paused, in brief confusion.  Russ stood up and leaned over Liseli, pulling the covers aside.  “What are you doing?” Halla stepped forward, as if she would stop him.  But she didn’t.

“I’m taking her to my room,” said Russ.  “I told you, she doesn’t like this room.”

Halla was silent for a moment, then she said dryly, “You are not thinking that you are going to carry her—”

Russ was thinking that.  He was getting used to the constant pain from his “phantom” wounds, and he didn’t feel weak.  He could carry Liseli down the hallway.  Easy.  “Yeah.”  He pulled her toward him and began to lift her up.  “I’m not gonna leave her here, anyway.”

“You shouldn’t even be out of bed.”  Halla hovered behind him, holding her hands out as if she would catch Liseli if he dropped her.  She still did not make any real move to stop him.  Liseli was limp, and her head lolled back as he lifted her with one arm against her back and the other under her knees.  She wasn’t very heavy, but he realized that she was still going to be harder to carry than he’d thought.  He shifted her, trying to support her neck, leaning back a little so all her weight wasn’t solely on his arms.

Halla kept shaking her head, saying, “You shouldn’t be doing this.”  She sighed in resignation.  “Well . . . if anyone else were here I would have them stop you.  As a healer who knows a thing or two about recovery I protest this . . . this . . . where are you taking her?”

“My room.  I’ll know when she wakes up, then.”  Russ staggered toward the door.  His left shoulder screamed in pain, but if he let his left arm go Liseli’s head would be the first to hit the floor.

Halla followed him out into the hall.  “I’m not sure I can allow that,” she said, crossing her arms as she rounded him and stood in the way.  “It is not proper, especially with her asleep and unable to voice her wishes.  She is not your wife.”

Russ coughed uncomfortably.  What to say to that?  He almost replied, “I’ve slept with her before, anyway,” but bit his tongue.  That wouldn’t go over well.  Halla was eyeing him as if she actually suspected he might try something on Liseli while she slept.  Oh, that was nice.  You don’t need to be the one on the defensive, y’know.  “Look.”  He shifted Liseli, pulling her up closer to him.  He tried to ignore the pain the shot through him and told him to drop her.  “It’s just that I don’t trust you.  I want Liseli with me.”

Halla blinked.  “You don’t trust me?  Oh.  Well.  I . . . have . . . just . . . spent . . . the entire afternoon . . . nursing you back to life.  ”  She spoke evenly, but she couldn’t hide a momentary glimpse of hurt in her eyes.

Oh.  Right.  Wrong answer, then.  “N-no.  Not you personally.  Sorry.  Thank you.  I mean . . . ” he stopped and lowered his face, hiding it in Liseli’s hair against the side of her neck.  He inhaled; she smelled like the river, fresh and still somehow slightly damp after all those hours.  That wasn’t helping.  “I would never do anything to her.”

“I was not saying that I think you would . . . you would . . . while she slept,” Halla reddened and looked away.  So maybe that’s not what she’d been thinking.  “It’s simply not prop—”

“I’m sorry.  But I’m gonna drop her in a moment and then I’ll fall down and we’re both gonna be lying in the hall,” Russ cut her off.  “Please.”

Halla fell silent and stepped to the side, nodding slightly.  Russ walked by and she followed again.  Her mouth was set in a line of displeasure, but she opened the door for him and watched as he lowered Liseli onto his bed and then sat next to her.

Russ was exhausted.  His arms burned and felt like shredded noodles.  “Uhhh.”  He rolled to the side and lay down.

“That was very foolish.  You have used up precious energy.  You forget that you are not well.”

Oh, I remember.  Trust me.  “Hmmm.”

She sighed.  “Legs, in bed.”  She assumed a brusque manner.  “You’re not going to sleep hanging off halfway.”

He sat up again with a grimace.  It was aggravating.  What if it was always like this?  What if this was as healed as he would ever be?  He had no scars that could be seen, maybe that was as good as it was gonna get.  He pulled himself all the way into bed, and lay next to Liseli with his arm across her torso.  He didn’t much care what Halla thought of that, at the moment.

She shook her head, but lifted the blankets over both of them.  “Sleep, then.  You can eat later.  There is always the water nearby.  I will check in on you.”  She straightened and surveyed them.  Russ felt weird being tucked into bed with Liseli beside him, as if they were two babies in a crib.  But Halla’s expression as she stepped back made it even stranger.  They were children, to her.

“Thanks.”  He didn’t know what else to say.

Halla turned and left the room, shutting the door gently.  Russ tightened his arm around Liseli and said her name.  But she didn’t wake up.  That was okay.  He was going to sleep.  She’d be awake later.  She would.