Chapter 25 ~ Gates, part 2

Leeton’s dogs sat in rows, waiting patiently and blinking their amber eyes at their master as he paced absently before them.  Liseli sat on the rock and stared at the waterfall, only glancing briefly at Leeton and his animals from time to time.  It had been about fifteen minutes since Russ and Alisiya had disappeared.  Since then she’d been staring at the waterfall; waiting, watching, worrying.  She couldn’t bring herself to go between the ledges and watch by the Gate itself . . . she didn’t like being that close to it, even though she couldn’t see or sense it.  She resigned herself to the rock, and the hypnotic flow of water down the rock face.

Russ, come back, she thought, nervously fingering the edges of her shirt.  She had put on her own clothes when leaving Elharan.  Somehow she had thought it would make her feel better to wear the clothes of her normal life, her normal world.  It didn’t really, at the moment.  “Is this long?” she asked Leeton, twisting around.

Leeton paused in his pacing to glance at her, but didn’t answer.  He looked at the waterfall with an expression she couldn’t read.

“Well?  Tell me.”  She clenched her fists.  “Is it too late for him to come back?”

“I don’t know.”  Leeton wouldn’t look at her.  “If he had gone through and turned back around right away, he would have returned by now.”

No.  No, no, no.  Don’t say that.  It can’t be.  She squinted and bit her lip, hard.  In a moment she tasted blood, but felt able to speak.  “He didn’t make it, then,” she said, half surprised at the monotone voice she heard.

“He could be resting,” said Leeton, but he didn’t sound very convinced.  “Wait a little more.”

“What if he got through, but something happens in Adayzjia.  He could be gone a long time.”  Liseli locked her hands together in her lap.  “I’m not going to stop waiting until . . . .”  She shook her head and shrugged.

“I know you don’t want to hear this.”  Leeton stepped toward her, then stopped.  “But it’s unlikely they got through.  Both of them are probably—”

“No,” Liseli bit off the word.  Leeton shook his head, but remained silent, and Liseli closed her eyes, brushing gingerly at the blood on her lip.  She sighed, opening her eyes again to watch the waterfall. 

They didn’t speak for another several minutes.

Leeton’s dogs were confused at the disappearance of their mistress, and a few of them ventured a whine or a movement from time to time.  But Leeton would speak a word or give them a look, and they would meekly obey, quieting or sitting back in line.  He kept pacing back and forth in front of them, head down, absorbed with his own thoughts.  Every time Liseli looked at him, he was the same.

He’s not coming back.  After all this you let him leave and now he’s not coming back.  No, she squelched that line of thought quickly.  She wouldn’t give up hope again.  She’d believed him dead once and made things worse.  This time, she told herself, she would believe him alive until she saw . . . otherwise.  But what does it matter?  It’s not as if you can do anything, either way . . . .  She shook her head.  Think.  Maybe there is.  There’s always got to be something better than nothing.  Assume he’s alive; what’s keeping him from returning?

“There must be something keeping him in Adayzjia,” she broke the silence, standing.  Leeton looked at her sadly, as if he pitied her hopefulness, but she took a breath and went on, “You can go through Gates, can’t you?”

“Miss . . . Li . . . ”

“Liseli.”

“Liseli,” he sighed.  “As much as we both wish differently . . . I doubt they made it to Adayzjia.  I tried to stop them, but Alisiya was too driven.”  He bowed his head.  “I can only mourn for my daughter, but I owe you much for your loss—”

“Stop talking like that!” Liseli took a step forward.  “Stop it.  If Russ hasn’t come back it’s because he’s . . . he needs help over there.  I’m sure he’s over there.  And your daughter is too.”  She crossed her arms.  It was hard to read his expression; he seemed to only have one, and it didn’t really indicate what he was thinking, as far as she could tell.  “If they’re in trouble, you could help.  If you went through.  With your dogs.  And I want to come too.”

He regarded her for a moment, as if weighing her words.  She noticed then that his eyes were like Alisiya’s, blue but rarely the same shade from one moment to the next.  All the expression that was not on his face seemed trapped in the colors of his eyes.  They were dark, at the moment.  “It would not be wise to try the Gate.  If they died attempting it . . . we would simply die after them.”

“If Russ is dead you owe me that much,” Liseli said harshly, and he lifted his head back slightly, surveying her as if she were a curious sight.  She drew back, clenching her fists and trying to keep her voice under control.  “But what if he isn’t?  What if he’s in some kind of danger over there?  That we could do something about?  If you can possibly save him from the trouble Alisiya’s caused, you should.  If there is the slightest possibility of doing something we should do it.”

“You are willing to risk death to find out if there is a slim possibility that perhaps he is alive and in need of help?” Leeton’s voice was ironic, as if he seriously doubted she would.

“Yes,” she answered immediately, flashing her eyes at him with impatience.

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

She shook her head.  “I will not live the rest of my life wondering if I could have done something, but didn’t, on top of everything else I have to . . . to regret.  If you think the thought of dying bothers me you have no idea where I’ve been,” she said bitterly.  “I think you’re the one who’s not willing to risk it.”

“I,” he laughed shortly.  “My only justification for living disappeared through that Gate.”

“Then you should want to find her as bad as I want Russ,” Liseli said.  “Then we should go.”

“Give it more time.”  Leeton turned around abruptly and walked down the line of dogs.  “It has been no more than half an hour.  If he just needed to rest before trying to come back, we would be making an unnecessary sacrifice.  There could be no real danger on the other side.”

Liseli expelled her breath impatiently.  She didn’t want to wait; every minute could be ticking away from Russ’s life.  “How much longer?” she snapped.  “We could just be wasting time.”

“Longer,” Leeton answered with infuriating vagueness.  “It has really been no time at all.”