Alisiyad Chapter 37 ~ A Week and One Day

The next morning Adayzjia returned, gliding into the village while Russ and Liseli ate breakfast with the Erykumyn.  She had dressed herself in a blood red dress and brilliant, aquamarine blue robe.  Liseli still couldn’t quite meet her strange eyes, because they seemed to let escape the blinding light of her true self that her human body hid.  Russ had said the Gate was a light that could form itself to look like a woman, and Liseli could imagine that that ghostly light-woman was concealed just below the surface of flesh and bone.

“I have traveled the world,” she announced, without a hint of irony.  “I have seen Alisiya and I like it, I think I will be happy in this place.  The Gates the Gatebreaker damaged are whole again, I have seen to their restoration, and the people I have met seem to welcome me as their new ruler.”  She smiled brightly — though really, any expression she made was bound to be bright — and declared, “It is a beautiful morning.”

“Yes,” Liseli said, after a moment of silence in which Russ and the Erykumyn seemed lost for words.  “Also, they got the blood stains out of my shirt, so all in all it’s been a smashingly good day.”

“Excellent!” Adayzjia said with a dazzling glance her way.  She seemed to miss the raised eyebrow Liseli directed at Russ.  Apparently the former Gate was extremely happy with the life Leeton’s energy had restored to her.  Liseli wondered how long the perky exuberance would last, and couldn’t help thinking it was one more reason to get home as soon as possible.

“I have something for you, Russell-Key,” the albino goddess announced, holding out a thick, worn looking book bound in leather.

Liseli remarked, “Wow.  A present for Russ.  You haven’t carved your initials into the old oak tree, too, have you?  ‘A + RM’?”

“No.”  Adayzjia frowned at her quizzically.  “What would that accomplish?”

Russ pointedly ignored Liseli’s comment and stood, accepting the book.  “Thanks,” he said.  “But . . . why are you giving this to me?”

“You are the Russell-Key,” she said.  “Who else should have it?”

“What is it?” Liseli asked curiously.

“It is a thing of knowledge,” replied Adayzjia.  “You look upon the leaves between the animal skins and learn from the markings left there by others.”

Liseli had no idea what to say to that.  Pillari coughed into a napkin in what sounded suspiciously like a snort of laughter, and Russ just smiled uncertainly as he rested the book on the table and opened it.  Liseli leaned over and saw the pages covered in small, precise handwriting, with a few odd sketches in the margins.  Russ flipped through the book for a moment, then looked up at Adayzjia.  “Leeton wrote this.”

“Yes,” she nodded.  “This was amongst the Gatebreaker’s things in his city, Varaneshe.  It is all about the worlds he saw and the Gates he traveled through.”  She frowned a little and added, “Before he took to breaking us, that is.  It is something a young Key such as yourself will find helpful.  Yes?”

“Yes,” Russ said, gazing down at the book with a new sense of interest.  Liseli had never guessed that Russ could sound that awed over a book, and she had a sinking feeling.  She had been hoping that he would come to his senses and see the danger and risk in jumping around unknown worlds — now apparently that damned Leeton had left a travel guide to give him foolhardy confidence.

But, she tried not to show her dismay, and said, “Wow . . . so . . . it’s kind of like the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.  Only handwritten.”

“I recognize that book,” said Pillari.  “When we first came to this world he was forever scribbling in it, obsessively recording everything he found out about this place.  He would drill us about everything there was to know about Adayzjia as well, so he could jot it down.”  He face suddenly hardened.  “That was such a long time ago.  We trusted him them.”

Russ had turned to the beginning of the book and he said, “He started out by writing down everything he knew about how Keys and Gates work.  The facts, the ‘lore’ . . . everything.  This is what I need to know,” he glanced up at Liseli briefly, “it’s like . . . it’s like . . . .”

“How to Be a Key for Dummies?” Liseli supplied, and he nodded absently, obviously not even listening.

“I must go now,” said Adayzjia.  “I have only just begun to set up my court in Varaneshe.  I will rule from there as Leeton did, though I think I will like to walk the width and breadth of this land every day.”  She smiled and took a deep breath, as if inhaling the wondrous joy of it all.  “It feels so good to be able to go wherever I want, after all that time locked in my own ruins.”

“Wait,” Liseli said, standing up.  “When you get around so fast . . . can you take people with you, however you do it?”

Russ glanced up from the book.

“No, you would have to be one of my kind.  But I can travel slower if you wish to come with me.  Do you wish to come with me to Varaneshe?” Adayzjia replied brightly, as if asking Do you want to be my bestest friend forever? and Liseli almost winced.

“No,” she said, trying not to sound too disappointed.  “I was just wondering if you could maybe take us back to the Gate that leads to our world.  I think it takes a few days going at our rate of travel.”

Russ issued a quiet little sigh, but said nothing.

“You need not return to the same Gate,” Adayzjia said.  “Now that the Gates are whole again, any one of them will lead you anywhere you wish to go.”

“Really?”  Russ was interested now.

“Yes.  When you step through a Gate that is not broken, you find yourself on the Silver Road, not the Gray, and instead of the black abyss to either side you will see a million different roads all leading in other directions.  The easiest thing to do is stay straight on the road you stand on, and it will take you to the world that is the Gate’s main connection,” Adayzjia explained patiently.  “We Gates place ourselves between two worlds, but we are also connected to all the other Gates.  A warning, though, you could get lost if you are a young Key who does not know your way.  There are many Gates and many roads.”

“If I know the exact world I want to get to,” said Russ, “does that make it any easier?”

“Oh yes.  If you know the world you need only ask the Gates to show you the way.  We know all the worlds that are and ever were.”

“Impressive,” murmured Pillari without a hint of irony.  Liseli had to admit it was pretty impressive, too, but she kept it to herself.

“So,” she said, “if Russ went into any Gate and said ‘Do you know the way to San Jose’ he could get us there?”

Russ gave her a puzzled frown, and she guessed that his mother wasn’t extremely fond of golden oldies.  Adayzjia, however, simply said, “Yes, the Gates would show you the way.”  She paused and added, “If you did not anger them.  If a Gate doesn’t like you it may set you down the wrong road.”

“Well that’s just lovely,” said Liseli dryly.  “If a Gate doesn’t like you, will it have you for a snack?”

“Liseli,” said Russ with a sigh, closing the book.  “You don’t have to be rude to her.  I’ll take you home.  I’m not gonna make you go anywhere you don’t want to.”

Liseli looked down, a little embarrassed.  She just felt as if Adayzjia’s sweet, oh so innocent demeanor and promises of nice, accommodating Gates who could show you the universe was taking Russ further and further away from the very real memories of what nasty things lurked in otherworlds.

“So, how far is the closest Gate from here?” Russ asked.

“I just came from a Gate that lies to the east,” Adayzjia told him.  “Aliana.  With your human legs, it would take till the setting of the sun.  Mounted on an animal, less time.”

Russ looked at Liseli as he asked, “Can you take us there?”

“I can.  But I regret that you will leave so soon,” Adayzjia said, a touch of sadness clouding her voice.  “I was hoping that you may come to Varaneshe with me for a little time.  All of you.”  She swept her gaze around the table, gracing Pillari with her smile.  “I wish to gather all the leaders of the cities and villages in my new world together.”

And make friendship bracelets and braid each other’s hair, Liseli silently added for her.

“I think we should leave as soon as we can,” she said out loud, directing her words at Russ.  “Our families probably think we’re dead.  I really don’t want to put mine through that a day longer than necessary.”

“She’s right,” said Russ begrudgingly.  “We disappeared from our homeworld.”

“Very well.  Come back and visit when you can,” Adayzjia told him with a nod, as if that assured it.  “When you are ready I will take you to meet Aliana.”

---

Liseli stood again on the balcony outside hers and Russ’s borrowed room.  She was ready to leave, but Russ had found some reason to stay a little while longer to talk to Adayzjia.  Liseli didn’t think she could stand being around the chipper Gate-goddess-whatever-she-was much longer, and had retreated to be by herself for a moment.

She knew exactly why Adayzjia was grating on her but that didn’t make it any better.  The strange, beautiful woman was to Liseli like the brightly colored wrapping over a box full of poison.  “Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly,” she murmured to herself.  Maybe Adayzjia herself was a good being, whatever that meant, but the world of possibilities she opened up led into dark corners.  Russ didn’t see that because he didn’t want to, he liked seeing the sunny side of it all, despite what he knew.  Liseli could not disregard the dark because it had crawled inside of her and clawed out her heart.  There was no ignoring or forgetting that.

She decided, standing there, to wrap that knowledge up in a little box and hide it in a closet in her mind.  It would never leave, but if she pushed it far enough down and covered it up with other things, maybe she wouldn’t notice it as much.  She would tuck away all thoughts of what might have been had Alisiya not cut short the life of her child, her lost child with its reproachful eyes.  What would she, Liseli Luenford, twenty years old, do with a child anyway?  Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise.  A blessing that hurt, but was for the best in the end.  She and Russ were in no position to be raising a child, no business trying to handle something like that when they barely had a grip on their own lives.  Russ didn’t even need to know that there had been that chance already.

So she closed her eyes to the memory of the Lost One’s face, and turned away from the balcony, quietly closing the doors of the window.  Then she was ready to go find Russ and Adayzjia again.  Ready to go home.

---

“Liseli.”

Adayzjia was alone when Liseli found her, and she had a different, serious expression on her face.  She was no less radiant, but her light had a purposeful, direct feel, as if she were fixing it on one spot rather than letting it shine all around.

It made Liseli feel uncomfortable, for the spotlight of Adayzjia’s attention was on her.  She took a step towards the goddess and asked, “Where’s Russ?”

“We’ll go to him in a moment,” Adayzjia replied.  “I want to speak with you.”

Liseli lifted her eyebrows, and tried to pretend that she didn’t want to look away from Adayzjia’s face.  “About?”

Adayzjia closed the distance between them, with only one step, and gently touched Liseli’s face.  Liseli’s instinct was to flinch away, but she remained steady.  Adayzjia’s voice was low when she spoke:

“I saw what she did.  I know the pain she gave you, the life she took away.  It’s left a darkness on your heart, which you try to hide.”

Liseli did step back, then, and Adayzjia drew her hand away.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Liseli.  “I’m just tired.  I’ve been through a lot.”

Adayzjia disregarded the lie.  “So has Russ,” she said.  “But he doesn’t hide the same darkness or pain.  I know what she did to you.  I was there.  I saw it.”

Liseli did know what she was talking about; what Alisiya had done beside the waterfall that flowed over Adayzjia’s Gateway.  She was ashamed to know that the Gate had been witness to her weakness, her failure.

“Don’t tell Russ,” was all she could say.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.  That is for you to do.”

“I don’t want him to know.  I didn’t want anyone to know . . . .”

“Liseli,” the Gate said gently, “I’m concerned for you.”

“Don’t be.  I’m fine.  I’ll get over it.”

Adayzjia sighed.  “You must let me do something to help you.  I feel as if it is my responsibility.”

“You couldn’t have done anything to stop her,” Liseli objected.  “It’s not your fault.”

“And yet, it all began with me.  The River’s power.  Had I not set up my Gateway there, in that spot, under the waterfall, the Chaiorra would be a river like any other.  It was the passing over my Gateway that first awoke the waters to magic.  And from the first, it attracted the spirits of the lost, the dying, and the dead.  I made it a Living River, and the dead are attracted to nothing moreso than Life.”

Liseli took another step back as Adayzjia admitted her part in the mystery of the Chaiorra’s magical nature.  So that’s why the water has such power, she thought.  It holds the power of a goddess, and a Gate.

Adayzjia paid no attention to Liseli’s shrinking away from her, and went on:

“For hundreds of years the river has gathered the souls of the lost to it, and they have made it stronger, and more dangerous, than ever my own influence could.  When the Gatebreaker’s daughter was born, she became mistress of its power, beloved of all the lost souls, and she used it for evil.

“But it all comes back to the day I left my life as Goddess of the Earth to become a Gate, and chose my gateway ill.  If the river had never become powerful, Alisiya would have been born a normal child, or not born at all, and none of this would have ever happened.

“That is why I feel I am, in a way, responsible for the hurt and damage she caused you.  Allow me to help you, in any way I can.”

Liseli took a shaky breath.  She didn’t blame Adayzjia, it didn’t really make sense to; how could she have guessed all those years ago that giving the river power would result in a madwoman abusing it for her own ends?  And how could she have guessed it would affect Liseli, a girl from another world, in such a way?  She wasn’t angry.  She still just felt sad.  But it seemed absurd that Adayzjia could do anything to make up for it.

“Just take us to the Gate,” she said.  “That’s all you can do.  Just help me get home.  This is something I have to deal with on my own.”

Adayzjia looked disappointed; the light hiding behind her eyes dimmed slightly.  Liseli knew she felt awful about what had happened, just beside her Gateway, but that was something the goddess would have to live with.  There was nothing she could do to fix what Alisiya had done.

“Very well,” said Adayzjia.  “But if I may offer advice, I think you should tell Russ what has happened to you.  He knows you are sad.  He doesn’t understand why.  And it is not good to wrap your hurt up and keep it inside.  I have been alone for a hundred years.  Believe me when I say that I know how terrible the loneliness and the dark can be.  Do not force yourself to suffer alone when it does not have to be that way.”

Liseli allowed herself to look full into the earnest eyes of the goddess.  The light was more intense than ever, but it held her gaze.

“If he’s knows about it, how will I ever be able to forget it?” she said, then shook her head, breaking away from that gaze.  “Thanks for trying to help.  But really, I’ll be fine.  With time, it’ll just be a vague memory.  I’m not alone, I’ve got Russ.  He just can’t know.  It’s for the best.”

Adayzjia nodded, realizing Liseli wouldn’t be talked out of her resolution.  “I see.  But understand one thing, Liseli . . . the river’s power is not gone.  It lies dormant, because you killed the one who stirred it to action, but all its power remains.  It’s only sleeping.  And that which you lost is not lost forever, so long as the river flows on.”

Liseli fought back a shiver.  “Dead is dead,” she insisted.  “If you’re saying that whatever was left of my . . . of it, has now become part of the river, it’s still never going to be what it might have been.”

“I just thought you should be aware that death does not always mean oblivion.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“Very well.”  Adayzjia stepped aside.  “I’ve said all that I can.  My offer still remains, I will never take it back.  If you ever need anything, I will do it for you.  Do no forget that.”

Liseli bowed her head, a little awed that the goddess would say something like that to her, though she hardly believed it.  “I won’t forget,” she promised.

“Then come along.  Russ is waiting, and you will soon be home.”

---

It was a warm late spring day in Fayette when Russ and Liseli stepped out from the doorway of the old mill.  The earth smelled like there had been rain recently, and the river flowed quickly by the broken mill wheel, lapping at the crumbling foundation that sagged over the bank.  It had been a colder, grayer day when they left, and they knew that time had not stood still while they were gone.  A week and one day had passed since they disappeared from their homeworld and found themselves in another.

Liseli took a step forward, but Russ, still holding her hand, pulled her up short.  “What’ll happen now?” he asked.

“I don’t know.  Life goes on . . . we find out what happens as it happens.”

“I meant with us.  You know.  You and me.”

Liseli didn’t answer him.  She’d assured him that she loved him before, she didn’t know how else she could say it.  This time she just pulled at his hand insistently and said, “I don’t know about you but I’m hungry.  We should get some food.”

“At the . . . ?”

“God no!  They’re probably pissed off at us for ditching our jobs, anyway.  Let’s go to my house.  I need to introduce you to my family.”  She paused, thoughtfully, remembering where things had stood before her world had been turned upside down.  “They’re probably pissed off there, too,” she guessed.  “I missed my mother’s wedding.  But oh well; there’ll be others.”

Russ looked at her strangely for a moment, as if wondering how she could be so aggressively nonchalant about it.  Then he shrugged and squeezed her hand, saying, “Whatever you want to do, Liseli.  We can go there.”

the end