Comments on: Six Going on Seven, Chapter 3 Part 2

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:45:00 +0000

Ah, that was supposed to be "shook her head." I think I was deleting a dash and went a little crazy.

Thanks for the catches.

By: anon y mouse

anon y mouse — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 10:26:07 +0000

" . . . it was the closest thing to an interesting life he could come trapped in this world." - something seems to be missing, maybe 'he could come to'.

"She shook her." - she shook herself, maybe?

Poor Liseli has let her secrets fester. She needs to talk to Russ; and Russ needs to talk to her, too.

-A. mouse

By: Sam

Sam — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 14:51:56 +0000

River Children never truly die . . .

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 17:11:03 +0000

“ . . . .and ignored his crying and flailing as best she good . . . ”
i think you ment “could”

By: Shauna

Shauna — Sun, 25 May 2008 16:00:36 +0000

“What do you want from me?” she said finally, her voices sounding harsh in her own ears as it broke the silence.
I think you meant “voice” instead of “voices”.

By: The Cloaked Stranger

The Cloaked Stranger — Tue, 13 May 2008 15:06:16 +0000

The aftermath of her secrets is catching up to her, even if it has been a decade. Alisiya and the lost child both haunt her still.

She should have told Russ when they first got back. Now it's like a deep infection.

By: Trygve

Trygve — Tue, 13 May 2008 11:51:48 +0000

Liseli’s really in a big mess

By: Michael

Michael — Tue, 13 May 2008 04:12:08 +0000

Is it permitted to cry in frustration at fictional characters, when you know it will all turn out all right in the end?

I mean . . . it WILL turn out all right in the end, right?

By: Sonja

Sonja — Tue, 13 May 2008 01:25:39 +0000

Poor Liseli. That lack of communication between the two of them is . . . not good. shakes head