Six Going on Seven, Chapter 8 ~ Secrets

Elly was halfway down the block when she heard her mother calling her name.  She stopped and looked back, frowning.  She’d only just started out.

They had been inside so long, she got tired to waiting, and tiredness turned into a peeve.  They’d had plenty of time to argue, they must be making up.  That’s how it always went.  It wasn’t fair.

“Elly!  Marcus!  Eric!  Where are you?”

She’d told the boys they were going to play hide and seek; they must hide while she counted and when they were hidden, they must hold their hands over their eyes and not look out, and absolutely not answer anyone who called them, because it would just be a trick to make them lose the game.

She’d thought to walk all the way to Maisie’s house, and stay there until her parents missed her.  She’d only gone half a block and there they were, calling her name.  But did that count as missing her?

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“I cant believe this.”  Liseli turned around.  “The whole neighborhood is asleep and you sent them outside?  It’s barely light!  Anything could have happened to them and there’s no one around to see!”

“I told Elly Ann to watch the boys . . . .”

“Russell!  Elly is a child!  Some pervert could drive by and kidnap her just as easily as the boys, what were you thinking?”

“Well where did you think they were all this time?”

“I don’t know, I . . . .”  Her face start to crumple the way it did when she was fighting back tears, and she said in a wobbly voice, “I wasn’t thinking about them at all!  I’m a terrible mother.”

“Alright, alright,” Russ put his hands on her shoulders and gave them a reassuring squeeze, “they’re probably just playing in the woods, and ignoring us ’cause they’re having too much fun.  C’mon.”  He turned her toward the patch of woods running alongside the back yard, and she nodded, sniffing.

Despite what he said, Russ was worried too, but he didn’t want to show it.  Liseli worried excessively about the kids’ safety and he figured one of them had to remain calm — that one had always been him, and he wasn’t going to panic now.  Elly Ann was the oldest child he’d ever met, he was sure she could take care of herself and her brothers.  But she is only just seven.

They reached the woods and started calling again, but there was no sign that any of the kids had been that way.  Liseli was shaking; she tried to appear calm but it gave her away.

“Maybe they went to one of the neighbors’ houses,” Russ suggested.  “Doesn’t Elly like to hang out with her little friend . . . what’s her name, Maisie?”

“Maisie’s house is blocks and blocks away!”  Liseli looked horrified at the thought.  She turned, then turned back, “They could have gone to anyone’s house . . . anyone could invite them to come in and give them cookies and then who knows what—”

“Liseli, Liseli.”  He reached out and made her look at him.  “Don’t worry, they can’t be far.”

“My children are missing!”  Liseli shrugged him away.  She started walking back to the yard.  “I’m going to go knock on doors, see if I can find them.  You . . . you look in the woods.  I don’t know, maybe they went deeper in, even though they know they’re not supposed to.”

“Liseli, I don’t—”

“What?”  She didn’t stop walking as she looked back.

“I think we should look together.”  He jogged after her.  “It’s six in the morning, everyone’s asleep, you can’t just go knocking down all the doors in the neighborhood.”

“What do you want me to do?  My children are missing!”  Her eyes flashed desperately, then she tossed her hair over her shoulder and resumed walking toward the street.

“You’re frantic, you’re not thinking clearly, you’re gonna cause trouble if you fly off like this,” Russ persisted.  “Let me come with you.”

“No!  What about the woods, Russell?  They could be in just as much danger if they’re out in the woods, you look for them there.  I don’t want us to waste time looking in the same places!”

“Look Liseli, you’re in no shape to be by yourself, let—”

“Be by myself?”  Liseli spun around.  She stalked up to him, and he took a step back.  “Listen, mister, for the last week I have been by myself, thanks to you.  Don’t you dare come back here, lose my children, and tell me that I’m in no shape to look for them by myself.”

“I’m sorry—”

“If anything happened to the kids while you were gone I’d have had to take care of things all by myself,” Liseli went on, “don’t you start playing ‘head of the family’ now.  I’m going.”

Russ’s jaw twitched as he waited for her to finish.  He knew there was no arguing against her — not when she pulled out the issue of him being gone.  But that didn’t change the fact that she was being hysterical.  Not that he could ever make her see it.  “Listen—” he backed down, crossing his arms, “we can stand here arguing about who’s the better parent, or look for the kids.  Do what you want.”

Liseli didn’t reply, just turned and jogged across the yard to the sidewalk.  He watched her for a moment.  She was in bare feet, her nightshirt, and sweatpants.  Liseli would normally die before going outside the house like that, but nothing mattered to her when it came to the kids.  That included reasoning and sanity — he didn’t see what waking up the whole neighborhood was going to accomplish.

He sighed, and turned back toward the trees.  He scanned the area for a moment of what he thought as ominous silence, then said evenly, “Kids, if you can hear me, or see me, you get your little asses over here right now.”

He waited for a few moments, then came the rustling noises.  He looked to his left and saw the plastic lid on the turtle sandbox lift and flip over onto the ground.  Marcus stood up, brushing sand from his pajamas, and Eric unfolded himself from a fetal position and followed.  They kept their eyes down as Russ watched them climb out.  “Get over here,” he said, patience with everyone wearing thin.  They shuffled over to him, eyes on the ground.  Marcus stopped first and scratched his neck; Eric bumped into him from behind.

“Where’s your sister?”

“I’m here,” said Elly Ann’s voice from behind him.  Russ looked back and saw her sitting on the porch steps, staring at him with a bland expression.  She had “mastermind” written all over her.  Funny thing, though, she hadn’t been sitting there a moment ago when he’d looked around the yard . . . .

“Why didn’t you come when we were calling you?”

“We were playing hide’n’seek,” Elly Ann said innocently.

“I’m sorry,” Eric said in a trembly voice.  “Elly told us not to, n-not to . . . to . . . .”

“Not to give yourselves away,” Elly Ann finished for him, giving her father a defiant look.  “It’s not my fault they took me so seriously.  I was around on the other side of the house and I came when you called.”

“Bullshit,” Russ said before he could catch himself.  It barely got a raised eyebrow from Elly Ann.  “Don’t give me that, you had plenty of time to get around the house, or answer us, before now.  Your mother is beside herself, she’s about to knock down the neighbors’ doors to find you.”

“Mommy is funny when she’s upset,” Elly Ann said, blinking as if she didn’t understand the problem.

“Oh yeah?  Do I look like I’m laughing?  Get off the porch and go get her.”

Eric started sniffling, and Marcus kept his gaze on the ground as he fiddled anxiously with the snaps on his pajamas.  “It’s okay.”  Russ bent to pick up Eric.  At four he was small for his age, and still easy to balance on the hip.  “Don’t start crying,” Russ said, though Eric had already started.  “It’s not your fault.  Elly Ann, go!”

Elly Ann stood up, with a little huff, and ambled down the steps.  “I’m in my nightgown.”  She pointed to herself.

“Then get in the house and go to your room,” Russ snapped.  “C’mon boys, let’s get your mother.”  He motioned for Marcus to follow him, and headed toward the sidewalk.  Elly Ann just stood there, and Russ turned back, barking, “GO!”

She turned and flounced back up the steps, letting the door slam shut.  He didn’t know what had gotten into her . . . besides her mother’s personality . . . but he didn’t have the time or patience to deal with Elly Ann and Liseli acting like each other at the same time.

Liseli was at the Palmers’ front door.  The Palmers were a retired couple who liked children . . . the kids often drifted over to their house to beg for cookies or play with Mrs. Palmer’s cockatoo.  It was as reasonable a place to look for them as any, except that the Palmers were on a cruise in the Caribbean and not scheduled to get back for another week.

Liseli turned around and saw Russ approaching with the boys.  Relief replaced anxiety on her face and she rushed down the steps to them.  “There you are!  Where were you?  You’re all sandy, were you hiding in the sandbox?  Why didn’t you answer us?  Eric, why have you been crying?”

She overwhelmed Eric with her questions and he didn’t answer, just wrapped his arms around her neck when she took him from Russ.  Russ kept back his observation about the Palmers being gone, knowing it would only get him yelled at.

“They were playing hide’n’seek with Elly Ann, and didn’t want to be found,” he explained.  “Eric’s just a little upset ’cause I yelled at Elly Ann.”

“You what?”  Liseli looked shocked.

“Yeah.”  Russ turned to walk back toward their house.  “Don’t worry about it, she’s just in a mood.  I sent her to her room.”

“But you never punish Elly.”  Liseli and Marcus walked beside him.  Eric insisted on being carried.

“Sure I do.”

Liseli snorted, and looked away.  “Well, you can say ‘I told you so,’ I know you want to.  I’m an idiot and the kids were alright all along.”

Russ did want to say “I told you so,” but that was never quite as satisfying as it should be, since Liseli always used it against him.  Instead he leaned over and kissed her cheek.  “Eric, get the other side, Mommy needs it.”

Eric smooched her loudly on her other cheek.  Marcus exclaimed, “Eww, I don’t kiss girls!” and ran up ahead before he could be recruited.  It coaxed a laugh from Liseli, and she shook her head, smiling at the ground.

They went inside, and Liseli said she would start breakfast if Russ would wash the boys up and change their clothes.  “And when you’re done with them take a shower,” she said.  Russ smiled faintly.  She was back to business as usual, or trying to be, anyway.  But he could tell that her nerves were still on edge, so he was glad to be able to retreat from the kitchen with the boys.

When he had them changed out of their pajamas and washed their hands and faces, he told them to go watch cartoons.  But instead of heading for the shower, he tapped on Elly Ann’s door.  There was no answer, so he tapped again, a little harder.

“There’s no one here,” came her voice after a moment.

He opened the door.  She sat cross-legged on her bed, fiddling with a Barbie doll’s long black hair.  She didn’t look up when he came in, but Russ talked to the top of her head, anyway.  “Why are you trying to upset your mom?  That wasn’t a nice thing to do, and you know it.”

“I wasn’t trying to upset Mommy,” Elly Ann said, hardly even trying to make the lie sound convincing.

“I’m not stupid, Eliasha.”

She looked up, staring at him for a moment out of hazel eyes.  Everyone said she had his eyes, but she still managed to make her mother’s expressions with them.  “Neither am I, Daddy.”

Russ wasn’t sure how to respond to that.  She was pushing him, that much was obvious, she didn’t expect him to be tough with her because he never was.  Well.  She had to learn a thing or two about who was the adult, that was just it.  “Do not do things to upset your mother.  Don’t make her angry, don’t scare her, don’t make her cry.  Period.”

“Why not?  You do it all the time,” Elly Ann said, with a half smile.

“I’m not asking you a favor, it’s an order.”  He paused for a moment to let it sink in.  She just blinked and looked away, out the window.  He shook his head.  “I don’t know how long you were planning on playing your little game, but it’s a sick thing to do.  You just don’t take someone who loves you and use that to hurt them.  Are you listening to me?”  She wouldn’t turn back to face him, and it pissed him off.  Elly Ann was a sweet girl, she wasn’t supposed to do things like this.  That’s what brats did, his Elly Ann could not possibly be turning into a brat.

“Mommy doesn’t care about me,” she said, throwing her Barbie down onto the bed.  She got up and stomped over to her dresser, slamming an errant drawer shut.

“You know that’s not true.”

“It is!  It is true.  You don’t know anything, Daddy!”  She quieted then, and while he was still trying to figured out what to say she whispered, “The next time you leave, take me with you.”

“Elly — no, I’m not leaving again.  And you’re too young.  Now stop saying that stuff about your mom.”  Russ felt like he was floundering.  Elly Ann was never angry or bitter to him and he didn’t know what to do with this attitude.  “What makes you think she doesn’t care?”

She looked at the floor.

“Well?  You can’t just say stuff like that.  Your mom freaks out if one of you gets bit by a fly; she might worry too much, but this I just don’t get.”  Russ shook his head.

She lifted her eyes to look into his face as he waited, arms crossed.  “Do you love us, Daddy?”

“What?” Russ faltered, caught off guard.  “Of course I do.  What — that’s not answering my question.”

“You weren’t worried when we were missing, and you were gone all week.”  She paused, bit her lip, and looked away.  “And you won’t tell us where you went.  Are you going to leave forever, next time?”

“No, there’s isn’t gonna be a ‘next time.’”  He took a breath and shook his head, seeing Liseli again in Elly Ann’s lowered eyes . . . he was a guilty bastard for leaving them, alright, and neither were about to let him forget it.  “I’m sorry,” he sighed.  “But I was just . . . gone.  I’ll tell you more when you’re older.  You know that I love you.”

Elly Ann smiled and hugged him, squeezing him hard with her skinny arms.  Russ patted her head, relieved.  “I want you to stop this nonsense about your mom, okay?”

She looked up, eyes large and vulnerable in her freckled face.  “She wishes I were the Lost One.  She’s never liked me.”

A sudden chill hit him, as if she had thrown open a door in the freezing cold.  “The who?  What?”  He didn’t know what she was talking about, yet it felt very wrong.

“The Lost One.  I don’t know, she doesn’t have a name.  But Mom only worries about us because she couldn’t save her.”  Elly Ann nodded, solemnly.

Russ peeled her arms away and crouched down, holding her gaze at eye level.  “Who told you that?”

“No one.”  She shook her head.  “It’s just how it is.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, what ‘Lost One’?  Eliasha, this isn’t funny, okay? I dunno what’s gotten into you since I got home but you’re not being—”

“Just ask Mom.”

Russ swallowed his words and sighed.  Trying to lecture her was going nowhere, she didn’t listen to a word he said.  “I’m not bothering your mother about this anymore.”

“I’m sorry.”  Elly Ann slipped her arms around his neck in an embrace.  “I don’t want Mom to be unhappy.  I made her go away, but it’s not enough.”

“Who are you talking about, Elly Ann?  Who’s lost?”

“I told you she doesn’t have a name.”  She drew back.  “Do you think you would have named her Eliasha?”

Russ backed away and stood up abruptly.  He didn’t know what to think.  “I don’t know,” he said, to her curious face.  “I don’t . . . .”  He turned and went out, shaking his head.

Elly Ann was just too much . . . too much to deal with this morning.  He was tired and dirty and hungry all at the same time, he needed a shower, he needed a nap, he needed breakfast, he didn’t need Liseli falling to pieces and Elly Ann turning from bratty to enigmatic from one minute to the next.

He found himself in the kitchen, without remembering the walk there from Elly Ann’s doorway.  The boys were in the living room glued to cartoons, and Liseli was busy at the counter making waffle batter.

She turned when he approached.  “Why aren’t you taking a shower?”

“You would tell me anything, wouldn’t you?”