Sweet Sixteen, Chapter 14 ~ Rusty, part 2

Russ found himself alone on Sunday afternoon, with nothing but Muttface and the TV for company.  Liseli had taken Hollie out shopping, and Eric was out with his friends.  Elly Ann and Marc were both home, but both were grounded.  Marc was confined to his room, and Elly Ann chose to stay in hers.  Since staying out past curfew was less of an offense than stealing half the goods in the mall, Elly Ann was allowed to leave her room, though not go out or have friends over.  So far she seemed to prefer sulking in her room, though.

He thought about calling up one of the guys to see what they were doing, but decided he’d rather be by himself.  He’d been around them enough the past year, almost constantly on tour, and he was enjoying some time away before they went back into the studio to work on their next album.  He didn’t mind seeing Jake or Wes during their off time, but Noah could be a bit much — he could talk the balls off a donkey — and Russ didn’t have much in common with Sam.

It wouldn’t be very consistent parenting, he supposed, to wander upstairs and see what Marc and Elly Ann were up to.  Or ask if they wanted to go see a movie.  Or something.  Not after he’d grounded them.

He sighed, thinking again about what to do with Marc.  Liseli was right, the situation wasn’t just your average teenager getting into trouble — Marc had undoubtedly inherited his ability to unlock things and a tendency to steal.  But how Liseli could be so flippant about it he didn’t know.

He wasn’t allowed to tell the kids about being a Key.  About travel through Gates, or otherworlds, or the other abilities that came with it.  She’d been firm from the beginning that the kids shouldn’t know, because she didn’t want them venturing into otherworlds and getting killed or hurt there.  She’d never gotten over her view of otherworlds as deathly dangerous places.  Gates were the “enemy” and she felt she was protecting the kids.

(And now she had the nerve to accuse him of being overprotective of Elly Ann!)

How was he supposed to deal with Marc if he couldn’t be honest with him?  It wasn’t fair.  Now that he’d gotten over the initial shock of realizing Marc was practically a kleptomaniac, he felt kind of bad about coming down so hard on him.  He didn’t want to be the kind of asshole dad who yelled and ranted and punished all the time and was never around to do fun stuff.  His dad hadn’t been like that — not that his dad was a great example, as far as fathers went.  Still, when he’d been around, he’d seemed great.  It was like he had an on/off switch, when he flipped it on he was “World’s Best Dad!” — fun, attentive, ten feet tall.  Then one day he’d flip to off and not care anymore.  And just leave altogether.

Russ wished he knew how to be a great dad all the time.  To stick around when things got tough, and not turn into an Army drill sergeant his kids feared or resented . . . but still not just stand around while they fucked up their lives.  How do you fucking manage to do all that?

Sometimes he thought about just disregarding Liseli’s wishes.  To tell them everything, show them what they could do, where they could go.  To teach them how to do it.  But then, Liseli would probably kill him.  Or never speak him again.

At least Elly Ann had come to her senses about that Sien kid on her own.  It made him breathe a sigh of relief to know she wasn’t going to be seeing him anymore.  Sometimes things worked out for the best.  He was glad of it.

The doorbell rang.  He was sitting in the family room with the TV on, not really watching it as he was thinking about the kids, and the sudden intrusion startled him.  He wondered who’d be here without calling first.  He wasn’t expecting anyone and unexpected guests were rarely welcome.  Perhaps if he didn’t go answer the door, they’d go away . . . .

The bell rang again, jangling as if the person outside was hitting the button repeatedly.  Russ got up reluctantly and crossed the house to get to the front door.  As he went he wondered if it was Sien, trying to get Elly Ann to take him back, and he smiled a little at the chance to come down on the kid.

Sien wasn’t his kid, he didn’t have to worry about being too hard on him.

It wasn’t Sien, though, and the sight of his visitor wiped the smile right off his face.

“Kyla,” he said, opening the door as his older sister was just about to punch the doorbell again.  “Um . . . what are you doing here?”

“Hello Rusty, it’s so nice to see you too,” she replied.

He wasn’t sure what else to say, shock and dread kept him mute.  She stood there looking expectant and severe, in her usual business dress suit with her dyed blonde hair pinned back, pulling at her temples.

Kyla lived in New York, where she worked as an accountant for a Fortune 500 company.  Both of them had moved as far away from Wisconsin as was possible without leaving the greater forty-eight, and by moving to separate coasts had managed to stay far away from each other.  Unexpected visits were less than a rarity — he could never remember her just hopping a plane to stop by, ever.  When Ixion was on tour and going through New York, he and Jake were required to make some time to have lunch or dinner with her, something neither of them particularly enjoyed, and he hadn’t seen her since the spring.

“Are you going to let me in?” she prompted.

He stepped aside, and she swept in, giving her surroundings an appraising once over.  “Is everything alright?” Russ asked, thinking that nothing short of an emergency could be responsible for this.

She turned around to look at him, but ignored his question, saying, “I’ve started to see a therapist, and you may not laugh or scoff about it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”  He did think it was ironic, since Kyla had always voiced scorn of those who “paid people to listen to them whine,” but he said nothing.

“Good.  I was advised that seeing one would help with my stress.”

Russ interpreted this as meaning she had been ordered to undergo some sort of anger management training, but again said nothing.

“One of the things my therapist would like me to do is talk to people in my life whom I have unresolved issues with, and she recommended I do it face to face if possible, so here I am.”

Just fucking great, Russ thought.  “I see.  Do you . . . ah . . . you want something to drink?”

“No, thank you, I’d rather just get this over with and go.”  She waved her hand.  “I have to be on a plane back to New York tonight and I still have to go over to Jake’s.”

“ . . . Jake?”  Russ was confused.  Kyla and Jake hardly knew each other, they’d only met a few times, so what kind of unresolved issues could they have?

“Yes.  I didn’t fly all this way just to see you, I could have waited for the next time you came through New York instead of wasting an entire weekend to come out here,” Kyla said.

“Oh.”

He was still confused, and Kyla could obviously tell from the look on his face, because she huffed and said, “Don’t you know?”

“Know what?’

“Dad is living with Jake and Katherine.”  (She always refused to call Kiki by her nickname.)

“Oh.”  It made more sense now, but Russ was surprised by this news.  His father, living with Jake?  Why?

“Anyway, I have to go over there to confront him yet, so I really don’t have time to stand around chatting.”

“Kyla . . . I really . . . don’t want to do this,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.  Then he took them out, knowing he was falling into old habits and defensive reactions around her, and he fought the desire to slouch to make himself smaller.

“Oh please, it’s not about you,” she barked.  “It’s about me, I have to work out these issues in my life so that I can succeed with both my personal goals and business endeavors.”  She sounded like she was quoting a manual.  “My therapist says I need to apologize to those I have wronged, and forgive those who have wronged me, before I can overcome my stress.”

Anger, he substituted mentally, but only said, “Fine, just don’t expect me to talk out our feelings or anything like that.”  He could only imagine she was about to forgive him for things that he’d never done and weren’t his fault, but there wasn’t much he could do about it unless he tried to manhandle her out the door.

She gave him a look which said “you’re such a dick” but remained silent.  Instead she reached into her purse and pulled out a folded up piece of paper.  As she unfolded it he caught a glimpse of typewritten words on it, and almost laughed.

She cleared her throat and began to read:

“Dear Rusty,

“I am sorry for how I treated you when we were kids and even later on as young adults, though I feel our maturity levels were both stunted and consider any time up until you moved out to be a part of our ‘childhood.’  I apologize for any ways I may have hurt your feelings or injured you physically.  I have come to realize as a mature adult that many things I resented you for were beyond your control and much of the anger I felt towards you was misplaced.

“I feel now that I must formally forgive you for the one offense I have always resented the most, the fact that you were our father’s favorite and your entire existence was clearly intended to fix the problem that I was not the boy he always wanted.  I forgive you for this even knowing that it was not your fault, because without forgiving you I cannot move on.

“I have been instructed that I should look you in the eye when I offer this apology and forgiveness.  Therefore—”

Russ had been staring fixedly at the floor ever since she began reading, and now he heard the rustle of paper as she lowered her letter.  She cleared her throat and said, “This means you will have to look at me for the last part.”

Russ forced himself to meet her eyes, and tried not to grimace.

“Rusty.”

“Yeah.”

“I apologize for being a shitty older sister, and I forgive you for being a boy.”

“Okay.”

“Well,” she said, sounding pleased, “I’m not sure that was as cathartic as it’s supposed to be, but at least it’s out of the way.”

He just nodded.  It wasn’t what he expected from her, at all, but then, Kyla had always been just a little bit different.

“Can you do one thing for me?” she asked, fishing through her purse.

“What’s that?”

She pulled out a pen and extended it, along with the letter, towards him.  “It wasn’t required, but I took the liberty of adding a section for you to sign at the bottom.  I have reason to believe my therapist suspects me of lying when I say I’ve followed through on her suggestions.”

Russ took the paper and looked at the bottom.  It said:

I _______________ (Print Name) do hereby acknowledge that my sister Kyla Markson spoke to me about the above issues on ___________ (Date) Signed _______________

He glanced at her.  “Seriously?”

She nodded.  “Yes, if you don’t mind.”

“Alright.”  He shrugged, and signed it against the doorframe, then handed it back to her.

She folded the letter up neatly, matching all the creases, and said, “Now comes the hard part.  I have to go ‘forgive’ Dad, and really, even though I wrote it all out I’m afraid it comes across as more of an indictment than a letter of forgiveness.”  She sighed heavily.  “You know I’m afraid to tell my therapist this as I’m sure she’ll think I’m a gigantic bitch, but I can’t even really feel upset that he’s dying.”

“He’s what?”

“Dying,” she repeated.  “He has terminal cancer.  That’s why he’s staying with Jake — can’t face the end alone, but he’s alienated everyone in his life.  Jake’s the only one who will take him back.”  She sniffed.  “I suppose I should try to get into a forgiving mood, but really I think it’s enough that I flew all the way out here.  Don’t you?”

“Yeah . . . .”  Russ didn’t really know what she was saying; at a certain point it all became just noise.

“Well goodbye Rusty, I’ll see you later.”  She walked away towards the door, and let herself out, leaving Russ alone in the hallway.

For a few moments he just stood there, not knowing what to think.

“Dad?”  He heard a voice on the stairs, and looked up.  Elly Ann was sitting on the steps, looking down at him.  “Are you alright?”

He shook himself out of his stupor.  “I’m fine.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked gently.

“What?  No. . . .  Where’s Hollie?”

“Hollie?”  She looked a little confused at the apparent change of subject.  “Mom took her to buy some new clothes, remember?”

“Oh.  Right.”  He frowned.  Hollie was often over at his brother’s house, playing with Adrian, and now his father was living there?  And Jake had just conveniently forgot to mention this?  Russ turned and stalked back towards the family room.

“Where are you going?” Elly Ann asked.

“I’m going to call your uncle.  He has a lot of explaining to do.”