Sweet Sixteen, Chapter 19 ~ Firebird, part 2

Elly left the laundry room, half a tumult of feelings and half in a daze.  I can’t believe it, she thought.  I can’t believe he’s leaving.  Just like that.  And yet . . . .  And yet she could believe it.  Obviously his father was leaving for home, for fabled Airidan, and of course where Ren went Sien would follow.  What did he expect when she came to the campground?  That she would come with them?  That she would reconsider on threat of never seeing him again?

That didn’t matter at the moment.  If she was to find out, or try convincing him to stay, or even have a chance of saying goodbye, she had to find a way to get there from the party.

She went looking for Jani or Tim, hardly thinking about her earlier desire to keep Sien’s home a secret.  But before she could get to them, she ran into Sam.

“Hiya El,” he smirked, blocking her way.  “So where’s your boyfriend?  Haven’t seen him all night.”

“Get out of my way,” Elly snapped, giving him a shove.

“What the fuck is your problem?” he said, stumbling a little but not getting out of her way.

“I’m not in the mood for you, Sam.  I need to get out of here.”

“What’s wrong?”

“None of your business.  I just need to find my friends and leave.”  She tried to push past him.

“Not so fast.”  He stepped to the side, grabbing her arm.  “I’m your friend.”

“We’re not friends, Sam.  Your not even my dad’s friend; he doesn’t like you, nobody likes you, so just fuck off!”  Elly jerked her arm free and stormed past him.

She looked around for Jani, uselessly, for a few minutes.  Then she finally spotted Tim, and yelled his name.

“What?”

“I need to leave.  Where’s Jani?”

“She’s, eh, not feeling well.  She’s in the bathroom.  I was just gonna check on her.”  He spoke with a slight slur, and she could see him waver a little where he stood.

“You’re both wasted,” she said.  “Forget it.  Just forget it.  Tell Jani I’m leaving.” She turned and left him, thinking to call a cab.  She headed to the kitchen, thinking to find a phonebook, but saw Sam standing in the doorway.  I will kill him, she thought darkly, and kept walking with a glower.

“El,” he said, seeming to have forgotten, or ignored, the last insult she’d yelled at him.  “I can see you’re upset.  If you want to leave, I can take you home . . . .”

“I don’t want to go anywhere with you.  I’m calling a cab.”

“Come on, you don’t have to call a cab.  Stop being a bitch and let me help you out.”

“What about your bunnies?” she shot, disdainfully.

“Who gives a fuck about them?”  Sam took her elbow and leaned in.  “You know you’re the only girl I care about.”

“Let go of me.”

He gripped tighter.  “Elly.”

“I don’t have time for this, Sam.  I’ve got to go meet my boyfriend.  My boyfriend.  Now unless you’re gonna drive me to meet him, let go of me and get out of my way.”

“Fine, let’s go meet him,” Sam said with careful indifference.  “I don’t care if you see that little punk.”

Elly snorted.  “I’m serious, Sam.  I’m going to meet Sien, now—”

“I said I’ll take you there.  I fucking mean it, little Elly Ann.”  He turned and started walking to the door, pulling her with him.

“You fucking let go of me or I’m telling my father!” Elly yelled.

“You’re not supposed to be at this party, I don’t think you’re telling Russ anything about it,” Sam shot back.

Elly thought about kicking him or fighting to get free, but she wasn’t truly afraid of Sam, and felt nothing more than annoyance at his interference.  She doubted he would really take her to Sien, but she allowed him to lead her out the door and down the driveway to where his car was parked, on the road.

“So where’s your loverboy at?” Sam asked, jingling his keys.

“You are not taking me to him.”

“Yes I am.  I want to see Sien.  Say hi.”

It suddenly occurred to Elly that he probably wanted Sien to see them together, her riding in his sports car, and get jealous.  Perhaps he thought they’d argue and break up over it.  What an idiot.

“Fine,” she said.  “He lives at the Golden Jade Campground.”

“The what?”

“It’s a trailer park off Highway G.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I am not.”

He laughed.  “You’re dating trailer trash?  Do your parents know?”

“What’s it to you?  Are you going to take me there or not?”

“Oh, there’s no way I’m missing this,” he laughed again.  “Elly, slumming it up.  Who woulda thunk?”

“Shut up and drive,” Elly snapped, getting into the car and slamming the passenger door shut.  It was awkward inside with her full costume, so she impatiently pulled off the wings and plume, throwing them into the back.  She would have felt too exposed next to Sam in just the skimpy ballerina portion of the costume, if she hadn’t been more concerned with getting to Sien.

He slid into the driver’s seat, still chuckling.  “You’re a funny kid, El.  Just full of surprises.”

“Don’t call me El.”

“Whatever.  El.”

It took about fifteen minutes to get to the trailer park, Sam driving fast and reckless, as was his usual habit.  Elly wasted no words for him, jumping out of the car as soon as they arrived at the main entrance.  Sam popped out and was quick on her heels, but she ignored him pointedly.

They got to the Auriel’s bus, and Sam had new taunts when he saw the makeshift home.  Elly was too preoccupied with seeing that it was completely dark, to pay any attention to him.

Sien’s motorcycle was nowhere to be seen.  The bus door hung open, and Elly bounded up the steps, calling Sien’s name.  In the dim lights from the campground, she could see that there was no one home.  The bus still had all its furniture intact, but when she found the lights, she saw that several things were missing.  There were no clothes anywhere, and there were several empty spaces on shelves where things had been hastily taken down.

Sam was right behind her.  “Not here?” he observed, needlessly.

Elly turned around.  “He’s gone,” she said helplessly, almost forgetting who she was talking to.

“Huh.  Where?”

“What?”

“Where he’d go?  I’ll take you there.  I’ll drive you all around, if you want.”

“No,” she waved him off, pushing past him to get out of the bus.  It felt narrow and claustrophobic, even with the missing people and things.  “No, he’s . . . he’s just gone.”

“You gonna call him?”

“What?  No — he doesn’t have a cellphone.”  Besides, she added to herself, even if he did I don’t think I can call him, where he’s gone.

“Jesus, El.  You really know how to pick ‘em . . . .”

“Shut up.  You don’t know him.”  Elly stood next to the bus, not knowing what to do, now.  It couldn’t have been more than half an hour since he’d hung up on her, and he’d left already?  How could he not even wait an hour for her?  That’s how long she’d waited for him!

“You’re not going to wait around here for him to come back, are you?” Sam asked, giving the trailer park a mistrustful look up and down.

“No.  No. . . . he’s not coming back,” Elly replied miserably.

“How do you know that?”

“Because he told me!”  She gave him an impatient glare.  “On the phone.  His dad had to leave and he’s going with him.”

“What, are they in trouble with the police or something?”

“No!  No, it doesn’t matter, Sam.  All that matters is he’s gone, and he’s never coming back, and I didn’t even get to say goodbye!”  Elly sat down on the grass and put her head in her hands.  Anger at Sien filled her, anger that he’d deserted her with barely a chance at seeing her once more, as if he didn’t even care at all.

Sam was uncharacteristically silent, just standing there waiting for her to collect herself.  After a moment he sat down next to her.  “You want to go home?” he asked, in what passed for gentleness.

She thought about it.  “No.”

“Want to go back to the party?”

“No!”

“Okay.”

They were silent again, and Elly thought with bitterness how Sien must not have cared about her after all; he still only cared about the Queen of Seven.  Once he’d figure out she really wasn’t the girl, once he lost hope in her, he just gave up and left.  She thought of kissing him, of the things she’d hoped would happen that night, and was angry with herself.

“I hate him,” she said darkly.  “He was playing his stupid games with me the whole time, even after he swore he just wanted to be my boyfriend.  I can’t believe I was so stupid!”

“He’s the stupid one,” said Sam.  “Any guy who’d leave you is pretty stupid.”  He reached over and touched her leg.

“Would you give it a rest?” Elly snapped.  “Just this once?”  But she didn’t move her leg away, and he took it as encouragement.

“I’m serious.  Guy’s an idiot.  Elly, you know you’re beautiful.  You know you can have any guy you want.”

“Not Sien.”

“Do you really want him?”

“I did.”

“Why?” there was a note of real confusion in his voice.  “What’s so special about him?  Really.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Obviously.  Come on,” he squeezed her leg.  “Forget about him.”

“Why are you so bent on getting me?” Elly looked up at him.  “You’ve had lots of girls.  I’m underage, I’m your bandmate’s daughter, you could fuck your life up a lot, Sam.  You’re lucky you haven’t already.”

“You’re one of a kind.”

“Yeah, well, that’s how I felt about Sien.”  She slapped his hand away and stood up, angrily adjusting her short skirt.  “So maybe you do understand.”

“But he’s gone now.”  Sam leaned back on his hands, looking her over.  “And I’m still around.”

“Regrettably,” she muttered, and walked away.

He got up and followed.  “Where are you going?”

“I don’t know, it doesn’t matter.  Take me home, the party, I don’t care.”

“Okay,” he said, and she was surprised that he left it at that.

They got in the car and pulled away from the Golden Jade Campground in mutual silence.  Elly looked back, thinking how it was probably the last time she’d ever have cause to go there.  Perhaps they’d found some girl to be the Queen of Seven, and now Ren and Sien were in Airidan, watching destiny fulfilled.  And she was in a car with a man she despised, going wherever he wanted to take her.

She had suspected they wouldn’t go back to the Pomorys’, or to her parents’ house, and so she wasn’t surprised when Sam turned down unfamiliar roads.  She didn’t ask where they were going, but she still wasn’t surprised when they pulled up to his house.

Sam and Noah lived together in a house as big as their egos, behind a high wall with a locked gate.  Sam rolled down his window and said his name into the speaker by the gate: the voice recognition software approved him, with a robotic, “Welcome home, Mr. Conner,” and they pulled into his long driveway.

“Isn’t your brother home?” Elly asked, knowing the sight of her at their door would send Noah into a fit.  He’d always watched the two of them like a hawk, since that day when she was almost seven and Sam only fifteen, in her father’s garage.  Even if Sam didn’t care enough about himself or the band to leave her alone, Noah had enough concern about it for the three of them.

“No,” Sam answered, but didn’t elaborate on where, exactly, his brother was.

“Aren’t you afraid of him?  Or my father?”

Sam looked at her.  “No.”

She knew it was a lie.  Noah and Russ could be terrifying when they wanted to be.  But she didn’t press it.  She knew she shouldn’t be here, and normally she didn’t even want to be.  But tonight she was angry enough not to care at all.

Sien wanted a pure, chaste, oh so perfect Queen of Seven.  He didn’t want her.  She got out of the car and followed Sam to the door.  There was one person who wanted her.  She really attracted winners.

“Want a drink?” he asked once they were inside.

“I want to get very drunk,” Elly replied, glancing around.  The Conner house was very modern, very hip, very expensive, but not exactly homey.  Abstract artwork hung on the walls, which were in starkly bold colors like red, black, and deep purple.  She sat down on a black leather couch and watched Sam over by the bar, which was nearly full sized.

He brought her a glass of some brownish liquid, and she knocked it back grimly.

“Slow it down a little,” Sam warned her.  “I don’t want you barfing all over my brother’s stuff.”

She gave him a cold look, but asked, “Where is your room?”

“I’ll show you.”

“Bring a bottle,” she ordered, getting up from the couch.  “I don’t care what so long as it’s strong.”

Sam’s room was upstairs, and in contrast to the rest of the house, was very messy.  It was large and showed signs of the brothers’ considerable wealth, but also a distinct lack of care.  Clothes were strewn all over and the bed was unmade; it looked to Elly like a little kid’s room.  “Didn’t plan on, uh, entertaining anyone tonight,” he said by way of apology.

“It’s better than a garage,” Elly said.  “That was your idea of a good makeout spot, remember?”

Sam was silent for a moment.  “We were both just kids.”

“You were a year younger than I am now.”

“I can’t help it, El.  You do something to me.”

Elly unscrewed the cover on the bottle and sniffed it.  He’d grabbed whiskey, and she took an experimental sip, then a larger swallow.  She had her back to Sam, and she felt him move closer and put his hands on her hips.  “Do you really need that?”

“Yeah.  I don’t like you, Sam.  That’s never going to change.”  She lifted the bottle to her lips again, as he kissed her neck, his hands roving over the scant material of her costume.  The whiskey burned her mouth and throat as it went down, but she relished the sting.

“That’s enough,” Sam said, and pulled the bottle out of her hands, tossing it on the floor, where it spilled on the carpet.  He didn’t seem to care.  Elly didn’t much miss it; she was fueled enough by anger and determination now to steel herself for anything.

Sam turned her around, making her face him.  There was a mad light in his eyes, she thought, a reckless eagerness from years of pent up desire.  He kissed her hungrily, and she pulled away.  She gave him a slap which made him stagger, but then she grabbed his shirt, pulling him close again, and kissed him back.  It was a hard, angry kiss, with no more affection than the slap.  She didn’t want to be reminded of Sien.  She didn’t want to pretend there was anything more than hate in what they were doing.

They fell onto the bed, Sam’s weight heavy and oppressive on top of her.  When he was inside her she felt pain, hatred, sadness, and triumph all at once.  She didn’t know what he felt.  She dug her fingernails in his shoulders and hoped it was pain.  He groaned out her name but it sounded like a groan of ecstasy.  She dragged her fingers down across his back, feeling the skin break.  He just pulled on her hair and bucked harder and faster between her legs.

She caught Sam trying to look at her — to look into her eyes.  She shut them and turned her head to the side sharply, pressing her face into the bed.  He half bit, half kissed her neck, rubbing his hands over her breasts, which had fallen out of her costume with all the jerking and twisting.

Elly gritted her teeth.  The worst of it all was how much she liked it.  The pain, the shame, the invasion.  She hated him with all her being, at that moment, and hate wasn’t supposed to feel so good.  It wasn’t supposed to send white hot pleasure shooting through her, only loving kisses and embraces were supposed to bring that feeling.  Only.  Only.  Only.

And she couldn’t stop thinking of Sien.  As if he stood by the bed watching them with reproach, betrayal, and judgement written all over his face.  She opened her eyes and could almost imagine seeing him there.  She turned her face away, back to Sam, even though she didn’t like looking at him.  It reminded her that he was a person, not just a body, and a person she didn’t like.  She wanted to turn off her mind and just feel, no questions asked, no answers given.

She put her hands over his face.  She saw red on her fingertips, running down toward her palms, and felt him lick his own blood off her hands.